Sure having integrity isn't always black and white nor is it always easy, but nothing in life is. You have to work hard to be successful, you have to work hard to have a successful marriage, you have to work hard to raise kids. However, to me it seems far more fulfilling to live a life of integrity than to live a life full of deceit. I feel like I am going to lose my mind up in here on a daily basis trying to keep up with my crazy family, there is no way in heck I would be able to keep up with my lies, always have to fear that my lies would catch up with me, or even worse have to live each day knowing I was given something I didn't deserve. I have a very deep and magnified conscience and it is much easier to wake each morning, look at myself in the mirror with pride and be confident that I will make the world a better place than I did the day before. Don't get me wrong I am just as human as the next person and I will screw up, I'll lose my cool, maybe even go bat shit crazy from time to time and say things I will regret and in fact I have made some big mistakes in my lifetime but what I learned from those mistakes is what makes the difference of who I'll be tomorrow. In fact I will take you on a quick trip down my memory lane to when I was in 7th grade. The fad, trend, craze what ever you want to call it was to wear fake eyeglasses. All the kids were doing it (okay I'm sure not all) but it felt like I was the only one without a pair, so I asked my mom if she would buy me some. She said no! So instead of working to earn the money (because that would take time and effort) I decided I would steal them. Yes, you read that right! Steal. So I conned my little sister into going to the store with me and I purchased a bag of candy then went back and put a pair of glasses in the bag and as we were walking out of the store we were stopped, taken to the loss prevention room interrogated and then hauled down to the police station in the back of a cop car. That time in my life is a constant reminder of when I tried to cheat the system and get something I didn't earn, pay for, or even deserve. If a little shoplifting incident has had that much impact on me 28 years later I can't imagine living with myself if I was constantly dishonest, disloyal, backstabbing, conniving....well you get the point. Nobody owes me anything....I want to be at peace on my death bed knowing I worked hard my whole life to get the things I had earned, enjoyed, and experienced. That what I did in my life made a difference in someone else's life and that I may have impacted one, just one other person to do something that changes the life of someone else in a positive way.
Now back to the subject of integrity. I can bet that 99 percent of organizations, businesses, firms, have the word integrity and its meaning somewhere in their code of conduct, employee handbook, on a poster in the break-room. That's all great but if leadership is not leading by example I am afraid it means nothing. If integrity isn't a daily action then someone isn't doing their job. In fact last semester for my one of my graduate management classes I had to create an OEP (Operational Ethics Program) and this was my mission statement for my made up organization:
Mission
Statement:
Button Bottom strives
to be a premier small business boutique by accomplishing exceptional results
for our customers, creating desirable careers for our employees, while being
able to achieve a return on the products we are so passionate about. Button
Bottom was created on a solid foundation of the values we deem extremely
important in the business sector. We are a successful business because we
firmly stand on the values of trustworthiness, respect, responsibility,
fairness, caring, integrity and citizenship in all that we do. We provide a
safe and healthy work environment for all, and we are passionate about doing
our jobs right from the very start, because we only have one chance to make an
outstanding first impression. We are constantly building a diverse, inclusive,
and collaborative environment. We welcome everyone’s uniqueness and use it to
make ourselves a better organization than we were yesterday. Through our
culture at Button Bottom and the fashion boutique sector, we strive to create
outstanding customer trust which is built on integrity and to provide quality
service and products that create experiences where passion and love are not
only inspired but exhumed.
The Air Force core values state three simple things....and I hear him refer to these values almost daily.
Integrity first
Service before self
Excellence in all we do
It then goes on to explain the following moral traits:
Courage, honesty, responsibility, accountability, justice, openness, self-respect and humility. So where along the lines have all of these virtues been lost? Where can they be found and how do we instill them in the next generations if the current generations don't value them? In reading the "Little Blue Book" I never came across things like "it's all about me", "do what you have too to get to the top", "mediocre", "one up", "sorry about your luck", "deceit", "get over it", "it's all about who you know"....each one of us were made to leave this earth a little better than it was when we entered it. My responsibility over the last 17 years has been to instill the importance of doing what is right even when nobody is looking, have good work ethics, sacrifice to become better and lead the way for those who are going to be following you, into my children who one day will be the generation leading our world.
I just finished a finance class for my graduate degree and during the last week we had to watch a video of a Q and A session between students of the University of Nebraska, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. Two of the most successful and wealthiest men in America who did it the right way. One of the questions that was asked of Buffett was how he instills ethical leadership within his organization. Buffett responded without hesitation "We can afford to lose money, we cannot afford to lose reputation, not a shred of reputation. Therefore I ask managers then to judge every action they take not just by legal standards although that's obviously the first test, but also by the test what I call the newspaper test. How would they feel about any given action if it was to be written up the next day in their local paper to be read by their families, friends, neighbors?" Ponder that for a little bit............Would you be completely at peace if your behavior today was headline news tomorrow?
My guess is that far less people would today than in the past. Our world today has become accustomed to living by "the end justifies the means." When people have the mindset that their "valid" reason of being dishonest, revengeful, hateful, jealous and vindictive justifies the end result then all kinds of shit hits the fan. I may be a lone wolf when I say that having integrity is the most valuable quality a person can have in their life, but I think when a person exhumes integrity it speaks volumes on the rest of their character. People can gain profit in power or profit in dollars or profit in moving up the ladder but those are all temporary. A person who has a profit in a foundation of people who trust them as a person of integrity....that there....is forever. Missouri Governor Eric Greitens says, "...people who aren't satisfied with themselves can never be satisfied with others. People who regularly and viciously criticize others are almost always dissatisfied with themselves. People who are content with themselves, can usually find a way to see the good in others as well." God made us all (or what ever your belief is where we came from) just knowing that we are here in this life together will allow people to love the good in people, but more importantly will give people the strength to grow in your own patients, courage, and resilience for the bad people. Can you imagine what the world would be like if people were always working together for the greater good and lifting people up instead of tearing them down?
To quote Warren Buffett again....
"In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first one, the other two will kill you." He is a very wise man!
My husband and I celebrated 18 years (22 years common law) of marriage on May 22nd, so I have known him over half my life. He is my epitome of what a person of integrity is. He has been an extremely hard working, driven, diligent, courageous, honest and determined man. When I met him he was in the Air National Guard, worked as a head cook at a local steak house AND stocked grocery shelves for Coca-Cola. One of the traits that attracted me to him was his integrity and whether it was watching cans go around the assembly line at Coke, being asked to do something unethical at work, training new recruits as an MTI for the Air Force, or recruiting new recruits for the Air Force Reserve he has always done it with determination to have a positive influence on anyone he came in contact with. He wakes every morning bright eyed bushy tailed (barf) ready to accept the challenges of a new day, blessed that he has the opportunity to make a difference for one more day and ready to give 110% in everything he does. Meidocure or minimum are not in his vocabulary. He strives to go that one extra step in all that he does.
"If better is possible, good is never enough!" Whoever it is that said this needs a million high fives.
Think about those words....if there is always an opportunity to do better why not cease that opportunity? If you are not willing to take that one, two, sometimes 1000 steps to make the difference between good and better than that's on you and you then have given up the right to hate on the person who was willing to take those steps. My husband doesn't do anything half assed he goes above and beyond because it satisfies HIM and he knows that at the end of the day he did all he could do. He doesn't do it to make himself look better than the next person or to make someone feel less of a human than he is. He does it because his purpose in life is to make a positive difference. To lead by example for future generations. Boys care about themselves but men will think about and put others before themselves. My husband is a MAN, and I totally get why we were blessed with three boys of our own who have the best role model I know and who one day will become MEN! I wish that my husbands sacrifice would rub off on me a little more. He will go without before he lets me, his boys, his family or a brother in arms go without. He was given one life and he doesn't feel the need to squander it on himself. Sure he wants to be successful and win and he has never been or will ever be a quitter, but he wants to know he earned his success. He is willing to sweat and put in the work that it takes to win and be successful otherwise it isn't worth it.
This right here is my reason why. This right here is my husbands reason why. I would never want him to change who he is, what he stands for or how he lives his life! Each and everyday he is blessed with another opportunity to make the world different for the better and he doesn't take that for granted. More than anything he knows he is a leader and that people are watching him do it right and at the end of the day if the only people watching him are his three sons than it is so worth it.
No body is born a warrior.
You choose to be one when you refuse to stay seated.
You choose to be one when you refuse to back down.
You choose to be one when you stand up after getting knocked down.
You choose to be one because if not you, who?
-Being Caballero
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